Wise Or Wacked?

A new comic book series on Barack the Barbarian in coming out from Devil’s Due.

Why Dogs Are Better Than Men

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you’re gone.
You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
Dogs feel guilt when they’ve done something wrong.
Dogs don’t brag about whom they have slept with.
Dogs don’t criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they’re jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you’re together.
Dogs don’t feel threatened by your intelligence.
No dog ever voted to confirm Clarence Thomas.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
Dogs are good with kids.
Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
You are never suspicious of your dog’s dreams.
Gorgeous dogs don’t know they’re gorgeous.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there’s a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.) Continue Reading »

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From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. She took a deep breath and stood up boldly to face the crowd.

She looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband, who had been standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head..

Latest Microsoft Mouse

There may be more to your high tech gadgets than you think.  In an experiment aimed at reducung tendonitis in office workers, Microsoft has developed a self propelled computer mouse.  We got hold of an early test unit and took to the lab to see what was inside.  What we found was a specially trained, geneticly modified mouse.

This handy new device not only moves by itself, it also cleans up any crumbs resulting from eating lunch at your desk.

Microsoft declined comment.

Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn’t get it. Continue Reading »