1. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies 2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted 5. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case 6. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents 7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 8. [...]
OK. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is now metaphorically out the door, and there is much rejoicing in the Bush opposition camp. Just remember folks, we thought it couldn’t get worse after Ashcroft left. Then an AG pops up that managed to turn Ashcroft into a sympathetic figure. Wait until we see what Bush dredges up [...]
Last week George W. Bush invoked the Vietnam war in an attempt to shore up support for the Iraq war going into the debate over the September 15th progress report to congress. A number of commentators wondered openly about drawing parallels between America’s failure in Vietnam and the current ongoing and continual mess in Iraq. [...]
Senator John Warner came out yesterday with a stunning rebuke of the President’s policies in the Iraq war (that’s if you listen to the media). The media has portrayed this as a “continental shift” in a key Republican’s support for the Iraq boondoggle and a stinging rebuke of the (lack of) progress by the Iraqi [...]
A bird in the hand is a big mistake. Today has been a long year. Committee: a group that keeps minutes and wastes hours. An authority is anyone who guessed right more than once. Early to bed, early to rise, makes people suspicious. Conclusion: the place where you got tired of thinking. Yield to temptation: [...]
As presented on the 08/22/97 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN (10 year anniversary) 10. We were test-marketing the new “McTrojan” 9. Condom, condiment–what’s the damn difference? 8. It still tastes better than the “Arch Deluxe” 7. It was either there or in the vanilla shake 6. Turns out the rumors about Grimace and [...]