GATORS TO FACE SEMINOLES WITH PETERS OUT The Tallahassee Bugle MESSIAH CLIMAXES IN CHORUS OF HALLELUJAHS The Anchorage Alaska Times GOVERNOR’S PENIS BUSY [should be "Pen Is"] The New Haven Connecticut Register THANKS TO PRESIDENT CLINTON, STAFF SGT. FRUER NOW HAS A SON The Arkansas Plainsman CLINTON PLACES DICKEY IN GORE’S HANDS Bangor Maine News [...]
Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. ———– Hello, this is Ron’s toaster. Ron’s new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done… (Cachunk!) ———– Please [...]
1. A neocon may not reduce private business profitability or, through inaction, allow private business profitability to be reduced. 2. A neocon must use America’s military power to exert influence on the world except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A neocon must pander to Christian Fundamentalists as long as such [...]
How to Handle Telemarketers by Michael Owen If you’re like most people, and most people are, you resent telemarketers calling you at home trying to sell you something. And it probably irritates you that they seem invariably to call at dinner time. I used to wonder why they would do that, knowing they were only [...]